37-year-old woman refuses to provide free wedding venue for sister-in-law after in-laws plot to "accidentally" destroy her wildflowers: "The incident showed me his family don't respect my boundaries"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Mar 18, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Courthouse weddings have kind of a bad rap. They're associated with couples who do not care much for their relationship, or with those who are in a rush to tie the knot for beaurocratic or social reasons. However, there are some benefits to just having a courthouse wedding. First and foremost, it is an incredibly cheap option. Even backyard weddings can spiral out of control in terms of budget. Money aside, low-key and introverted couples who don't like a lot of hooplah often opt for quick proceedings to avoid having to host a big event for lots of people. 

In our story today, a man disparages courtroom weddings despite having offered one to his girlfriend, our protagonist, in the past. This comes after she refuses to provide a free wedding venue in her own home for her SIL in response to overhearing how her in-laws plan to destroy her wildflower garden without her permission. The disrespect leads her to see red flags in her boyfriend, leading to this relationship's eventual demise. Scroll down for more.

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  • 01

    AITA calling off hosting SIL's wedding and breaking up with him over he said about our own potential wedding?

    "It's just a wedding, go get a courthouse wedding II
    via baona

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (F37) live in a small property on a part-time basis due to my career. I'm very proud of my living space because it reflects my personality and my own evolution. I first came here thinking about
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 03
    developing a project for a company that I own, and I had a nice degree and a title, but I didn't have a lot of stability. 6 years later, it's very nice and cozy, and I've made it my happy place.
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 04
    I literally collected things over time to make it liveable and spent a chunk of my time making it look clean and welcoming. I got it because of the rent price, but it smelled like roaches and needed
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 05
    painting to make the walls look decent. I did hire some people, and it wasn't too expensive, but I've furnished it with nice rugs and wall art and stuff that may seem corny but that I really like.
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 06
    000
    via pixelshot

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    So, for background, it's a small studio apartment on the ground floor in a small building. I have a tiny backyard that I got permission to close off for privacy as long as it wasn't a permanent fixture.
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 08
    6 months ago, my boyfriend's ( Jason M43) sister (Nancy F42) got into a heated argument with their father, and he unplugged her wedding. He was paying for a lot of things, so this left her and her groom with a very small budget. She had a mental
    via u/
  • 09
    breakdown (she has mental health and emotional situations). I told her that she could count on me if they needed anything. A few months later, she told me that her cousin was refusing to host her wedding at her rural home and asked if she could hold a tiny wedding at my place. I wasn't 100%
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 10
    comfortable with the idea, but I thought it would be horrible to say no considering her situation. I asked my landlord, who gave me very detailed instructions. So no additional cars taking space would be allowed, no loud music, no microphones, etc.
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 11
    My place could hold (based on my existing seating) about 8 people inside and 10 to 12 people outside. I would hate random people sitting on my bed, so I kept it outside only and asked her to arrange for a
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 12
    porta potty or something, which her fiancee already had a version of because he does camping. People could wash their hands at my outdoor pipe and access my backyard via its side entrance. She seemed happy but that changed very slowly.
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 13
    I have a weeds/wild flower patch in my yard. It's not that big. I'm not saying that it's all pretty, but I adore it because it gives me a sense of nature, especially when it rains. That's my space where I read and relax and I feel extremely safe. She requested to
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10481352704
    via Sergii Petruk

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    mow it down, and I refused. Granted, it will grow back, but I didn't want to. I said we could cover it with a lattice fence if she didn't like it, but she said that space cut about 5 to 6 additional seats. I
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 16
    refused, and she went straight to Jason, and he went straight up my a asking about the matter, getting very irritated when I said it was non- negotiable. I understand it's her wedding and she's stressed out.
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 17
    3 weeks ago, her fiance asked me again. And I said no. I overheard him saying " Just hack the thing off or pretend that we were doing something and oopps,the weeds are gone!". Jason's mom was criticizing the weed patch, and when I came back, she asked what was so special about my house plants and asked if they had medical properties.
    via u/Evening_Orange4472

  • You can just tell that the implication from MIL here was meant to put our protagonist in a bad light! 

  • 18
    Without asking, she grabbed a handful and ripped them from the soil, squashed them with her hand and started sniffing them, and said they didn't smell like anything special. She also did the same with a rue plant in a pot, and I lost my patience and talked to her very sternly. I confronted her and asked if she
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 19
    had permission to destroy my stuff and that if her curiosity came to destruction, then she needed to replace my rue plant. I also mentioned that I overheard what the fiance said. They left voluntarily, but Jason came back trying to fight, but I told him to leave because he did nothing to help me protect my things.
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 20
    Cheezburger Image 10481353216
    via Nahhan

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 21
    The more I thought about it, the more I hated the idea of helping with the wedding. I contacted SIL and explained that what happened affected my trust. She said "it's just plants" so I replied " Then it's just a wedding, go get a courthouse wedding ".
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 22
    Last night, Jason and I had a long talk. He told me (again) that his family is very important to him, that he has always helped them out, and that I threw his sister into a depres on. I heard him out. I can't deny that a part of me feels sorry about what happened. I told him that I'm sorry, but the backyard incident showed me that his family didn't respect my
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 23
    boundaries and that I'm gonna take it as a warning, especially if they did something to get me in trouble with the landlord. I built this space and that while he may not understand it, this is very personal because this is where I went from feeling personally defeated
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 24
    and like a failure to developing a career that I'm proud of, and that I come here from work feeling that this is my sacred area and that his family acted like a group of people I don't want to be a part of.
    via u/
  • 25
    I told him that he could just talk to his sister and she could arrange for a courthouse wedding and he said no, because she's his sister and she shouldn't have an "insignificant" wedding that would not be her ideal celebration. This hit close to home. When
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 26
    we were at a point where our relationship seemed to be going somewhere, we talked about marriage in very general terms. He said he preferred a court house wedding, and I respected that because I'm no longer a fan of huge weddings as opposed to the version of me in my 20s. So the fact that he called a
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 27
    courthouse wedding unimportant felt like a slap to my face and changed my views about how he sees our relationship. He said I misinterpreted, but I feel that if he thinks a courthouse wedding is unimportant, then he never saw our relationship as serious enough. I broke up with him hours later because I was furious.
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 28
    His best friend, who's also a friend in common, reached out and said that he respects my views, but that what I did was a double humiliation. He forwarded me a voicemail from Jason, and he honestly sounded defeated. I haven't responded because this is the end, at least on my side, but I'm still thinking maybe I acted without filtering my words. AITA?
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 29
    Edit: Our friend acknowledged that I feel very hurt, but said that what I did made things worse by wndibg the relationship.
    via u/Evening_Orange4472

  • Beggars cannot be choosers. Beggars also cannot be deceitful and conniving! This family has been disrespectful every step of the way.

  • 30
    Ok-Scar-9677 NTA. Op, you're reasonable. They're all ridiculously entitled. All of it should stay canceled. Includidng. the relationship. Also, the friend is not your friend.
    via u/Ok-Scar-9677
  • 31
    Evening Orange4472 OP The friend part hurts a bit because I kind of hoped he got my back, at least a little more.
    via u/Evening_Orange4472
  • 32
    Snackinpenguin They're pretty demanding for a zero budget location. Your now ex-boyfriend wasnt helping either and is expecting you to s of sister bridezillas demands. NTA. k it up in the face
    via u/Snackinpenguin
  • 33
    dodoatsandwiggets And he will ALWAYS do this in future stressful family situations. NTA.
    via u/dodoatsandwiggets
  • 34
    Noodle227 It's funny that bf was saying "that his family is very important to him, that he has always helped them out" and "she's his sister and she shouldn't have an "insignificant" wedding that would not be her ideal celebration". If it's so important to him
    via u/Noodle227
  • 35
    that his sister has a wedding, then why doesn't he chip in and help her pay for. Instead, hes just trying to force op to let them use her backyard for free even after his family has disrespected her and her property.
    via u/Noodle227
  • 36
    Sea-Ad9057 I can see why the funding was pulled the first time and why doesn't the family pitch in to hire location if family is so important
    via u/Sea-Ad9057

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bride wedding drama reddit story sister in law wedding mother in law Reddit free entitled people family drama family boyfriend toxic relationships girlfriend breakup red flag
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